A ‘Pearl’ in My Chest

Ulima Darmania

Bismillāhirraḥmānirrraḥīm

I was waiting for my turn to see the doctor at the panel clinic in Bintaro. The appointment is mainly to talk about the result of the medical examination, particularly for the chest x-ray (CXR).

Meanwhile, I noticed the young man who had his CXR after I did was called in to see the doctor first.

Then I began to feel strange: Could it be something in my x-ray?

The female doctor began the session nicely and gently discussed my Roentgen’s result. “I’ve tried to ignore it, but I couldn’t. So you might see this bright circle,” while she turned the monitor and pointed at the left lower lung field.

Then, we had some further discussion and physical examination.

I also got four episodes of CXR from that single session to ensure the imaging was abnormal.

This thing, the nodule, is so bizarre yet familiar. My memories go back to when I was working at Anatomical Pathology, where I was exposed to some terms from the medical record.

My mind started to ramble around.

This thing, the nodule, could be something or just nothing.

This thing, the nodule, change the way I see the world.

Change how I look at my kids and my beloved ones.

How life is full of secrets and surprises.

How life can be turned upside down in the blink of an eye.

But, indeed, with hardship comes ease.

“So, Verily, With Every Difficulty, There is Relief”

(Quran 94:5)

The x-ray is part of the medical examination for a visa application. Medical visa services requested further medical information that might need up to dozen weeks to finalize the results.

So far, I have had my CT scan done at a regional public hospital.

I also met the pulmonologist at National Respiratory Center Persahabatan Hospital.

As I might share the journey with you, I am also looking for some support, for someone to tell me that it will be okay.

Wish us well and keep us in your prayers. It’s always comforting to know that prayers are being sent out =)

Subhanakallahumma wa bihamdika, asyhadu al-laa ilaaha illaa anta, astaghfiruka, wa atuubu ilaik.